If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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