His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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