It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
