Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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