I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
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