Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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