she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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