Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
