You made me cry and you don't even care
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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