yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We are two peas in an std pod
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
