yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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