I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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