Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
