I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
