You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
