His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
