So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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