Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
