I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
