What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
home. puking in laundry basket.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
