I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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