ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
