My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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