I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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