Say something about gay babies.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
