Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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