this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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