Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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