Your mouth is God's brothel.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
