She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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