I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
