she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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