Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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