We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
