I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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