the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
