Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
