ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
