i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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