My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
