fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
