Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We are two peas in an std pod
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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