So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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