And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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