bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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