oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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