someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
