I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
