if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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