At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
