I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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