I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
